My question is regarding the 40-year-old male who complains of premature ejaculation, stating he lasts only five to 10 minutes. I can only say if my husband lasted that long, I would be quite happy. He performs for no more than two minutes and thinks he's great. I have mentioned his early ejaculation but he refuses to accept it and wonders why I don't care for sex. I have asked him to read your Guide to Erotic and Sensuous Pleasures but he says he "doesn't need it." Where do I go from here?

You should tell your husband that the reason that you don't really want to have sex is not that you don't love him or that you don't like to have sex but you can't enjoy it if you get aroused and then are not satisfied because of his premature ejaculation.

You've developed an avoidance pattern because of this situation. You have to explain this to him in a serious way, without getting angry. Definitely don't do it in the bedroom. A long drive in the country is a good way because you're in complete privacy and he can't run away. Let him know there are other books besides mine, such as Bernie Zilbergeld's Male Sexuality, and tell him that you'll do the exercises together. Put it into a fun context by telling him that you'll be the best sex partner that he ever could imagine.

If that doesn't work, then you might have to tell him that you're not going to continue this way and that he'll have to see a sex therapist. Premature ejaculation is very easily cured, but he has to cooperate. You can't do it for him.