We've been married several years, and have put off having a baby. My spouse has always been relatively disinterested in sex. I am not given the freedom to initiate (I may, but am almost always rebuffed). It feels like it always has to be on my spouse's terms. We've hashed this out several times... my partner cannot identify what I/we need to do differently. I've also left it alone for long periods of time, to no avail. Now I'd like us to start a family... my partner agrees completely (verbally), but months go by and we keep avoiding sex. We've talked as well, but again, no change. Please help.

Let's backtrack a second here. Before you go ahead and have a baby, I believe you should take stock of your relationship with your husband. Are you willing to remain in a marriage where you are not sexually satisfied with your husband? If not, is he willing to go with you to a sex therapist to see if your sex life can be repaired? If you do, maybe you'll discover that the reason he is withholding sex is that he's actually reluctant to have a baby, no matter how much he says the opposite.

Whatever you do, don't make the mistake of thinking that having a child will improve your relationship. The odds are it will make things tougher, so try to fix your other problems first.